Whisky by X, the porn stars whisky

Hum.

This article is for adults only. We mean it. Don’t read if you’re a minor. Do. Not. Read.

It has come to our attention that a strange whisky brand has been recently released on the market: Whisky by X.

It all started last year when the founder of this uncommon brand, enjoying a whisky in a pub in the Netherlands, thought there was something missing in the whisky world. And he didn’t mean ice.

whisky by x

This whisky is made from a mix of premium single malt and single grains, distilled in Scotland and bottled in the Netherlands. But here comes the weird stuff.

This “new drinking experience” (according to the founder) results in the fact that the two 12 years-old whiskies of the range are “body-blended” by either Tori Black or Joy Van Velsen, two famous porn stars.

Do these names ring a bell, guys?

That way you can choose which one of the actresses’s body-blended whisky you want to drink. Yay! However, don’t ask us what “body-blended” means, we don’t know. And we’re not sure we want to find out.

Apart from the the blended part, the whisky is also filtered through a “guarded filtration process” using pure gold and diamonds. Again, don’t ask us why.

The founder declared that this whisky “body blended by the most beautiful women” allows the drinker to “experience the perfect combination of premium quality whisky and the most coveted women”.

He also added that “not only will the quality of our whisky make your heart beat faster, the thought of the same whisky touching the body of the woman of your dreams will leave you speechless.”

We’re already speechless. And not in the good way. We seriously wish we had a “WTF” category right now!

A bottle of this… intriguing whisky will cost £85 ($130).

And if the promotional video below makes you think of the beginning of a porn movie… well, we believe that was intended!

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